Speedy speeches

Honorable Chair of the FAO Council Mr. Ian Kiggundu seemed very worried about any gossip going around about him. He was strongly pointing out that he as a Chair- Mr. Ian referred to himself as a ‘leader’- even has the power to execute journalists whenever they know too much. So we are strongly relying on you, honorable delegates, to report any kind of spicy information about Mr. Ian as we think he might have something to hide.

During the presentation of the draft of working paper many delegates required the reduction of the light, since they had trouble reading the paper projected on the wall. Honorable Chair Jose Antonio Villena was willing to follow the instructions of the delegates, as long as none of them was tempted to fall asleep or even ‘do anything else’, as he said. At this point the honorable delegate of Indonesia suggested switching off the light completely. This of course was a great consensus among the delegates.

This morning was the morning of great announcements in the FAO council.First of all the delegates were kindly invited to join the Committee Dinner tonight and, as Ian kindly pointed out, the food security of the council was hereby guaranteed.

Secondly the delegate of Cuba turned one year wiser today, and this announcement was followed by an ever so charming, orchestra-like performance of ‘Happy Birthday’ by the whole council.

Further the delegate of China was able to be snatched from the jaws of death only barely this morning as she was reading the draft working paper out loud. Apparently she got very much into the serious matters, that she completely forgot to breath and she kept increasing the speed of her talking to a nearly life-threatening speed. Luckily Ian came to the aid and suggested: ‘Honorable delegate of China, you don’t have to die, just take a deep breath.’

And while the delegate of Denmark had the floor, the delegate of Italy couldn’t resist in indulging in some delicious, buttery Italian pastries, to sweeten the very serious point discussed by Denmark. EZ


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