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Bruschetta, bombs and fare evasion – yes, those are related!

Remember when your high school chemistry teacher walked into class and started writing a confusing list of items on the board? Olive oil, butter, water, soap, dog food…and you had no f***ing clue what the chemical link between those was? Turns out it was a grocery list.

On a completely unrelated note, what links bruschetta, bombs and fare evasion? Yes, correct, MILMUN Gossip! ;) 

    • Apparently, one delegate in UNDP did not get the totally unsolicited piece of advice that was shouted across the room last night at dinner: one does not eat pizza (or in this case, bruschetta) with a fork and knife. We will not disclose which delegate it was, but let’s just say that the Italian cuisine can be a bit confusing to someone who at home would mostly depend on rice. Is time to question how well diplomats are paid in relation to the situation in their home countries? All those in favor…? Yeah, didn’t think so.
    • The P5 are plotting to take over the world and completely disregard the non-permanent members. Wait, that’s not news, that’s olds. Oh, there’s only four of them and they’re doing it without China? Now, that’s a scoop! The name of their secret group “Don’t judge me if I bomb you” may backfire on them and get some odd significance later this week during the cri-….who said that?! Certainly not me. But you know how much I like to say “I told you so.”

 

  • If you make up gossip that did not actually happen, we will know! And we will retaliate! By posting it here with totally outrageous editions. So here we go: allegedly, “UNICEF and Lybia” are a cute couple. Who of you has a brain bigger than that of a paramecium? Apparently not the one posting this…the country is called Libya. Yes, the pronunciation is the exact opposite and very confusing. Even newscasters do it wrong. That’s no excuse! Wait a second, did you maybe mean Lidia, the Ex-Com member? Much more interesting! :) 
  • We’re happy to see that at least in one committee delegates are actually listening to each other. After the World Bank said: “We want to see concrete proposals not just words in the wind (totally ripping off Bob Dylan, by the way), the Chinese delegate immediately (and probably accidentally) responded by saying what everyone knows, but is too afraid to say: “Your money is our money!”
  • Finally, for this edition: apparently in France it is perfectly acceptable to not buy a ticket for public transportation. Alternatively, you can just go on strike to protest the high prices. When the prices are lowered and the drivers get less money, they will in turn go on strike, causing the entire transport system to break down, so you won’t need the ticket after all. Ergo: you don’t buy a ticket to begin with. One delegate of France applied that logic to Milan and apparently, did not have the best time. Sorry, bro!

 

 

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